For Your Marriage Sake Learn How Love Bank Deposits Can Help You Get Your Love Back

Sometimes we have relationships that seem great from the outside, but inside, there is little or no love at all. For personal reasons, I will restrict this discussion to marriages. If you are in a marriage that has no love, that is no way to live your life. Your spouse's love for you is really a precious possession. You need to get your love back and one way to do this is to understand why you lost it in the first place.



Wives especially, are super-sensitive to anything they perceive as a threat to their marriages. I find that, after many years of being married, that women generally take their marriages as their personal responsibilities, more so than men do. They take any threat to their relationships as personal, even if the apparent threat is from the husband. Men, generally, are more careless about their marriage, and are slower to recognize and react to threats to the marriage. If love is gone from your marriage, here is one vital piece of information that may help you get your love back.



To get your love back, you can begin by ceasing to make demands on your spouse. Both wives and husbands make demands on their spouses and this is one of the main contributors to the high divorce rate. Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. in his book, "His needs Her needs" describes these demands by a spouse as a "withdrawal from the love bank account". Dr. Harley believes that every marriage has a Love Bank Account, to which we are constantly making deposits, or from which we constantly make withdrawals by our behavior. Each spouse contributes by depositing love credits, the good things we do, or by making withdrawals. I believe you have a good idea what those are.



The funny thing about love is the fact that we must constantly reassure the objects of our love, of the existence of it, yet do so without saying "I love you". We do this by making deposits to the Love bank account. However, one of the sneakiest ways to deplete all credits from this emotional love bank account is to make demands on our spouse. To get your love back, you will have to stop withdrawing from this account, and start adding some credits. Making constant demands on our spouse will only bring hurt. Your spouse may give in to you often, but this will not last forever.



Until you get the message that making constant demands on your spouse is not a good thing, your spouse will become more emotionally hardened towards you. Finally the day will come when he or she will decide that "I have had enough", and that will be the day when love leaves even though the person may still be physically with you. When this happens, it may not be too late to get your love back, but it will be harder to do so. Very few people really understand what a hardened heart really is, but to have happy relationships, it is crucial that you do.



A hardened heart in the marriage-centric sense is the result of constant withdrawal by a spouse from the love bank account of that marriage. This is what happens when your love bank account is operating in the "red" because you have taken every ounce of credit available, but have contributed none!



What do you have to do to get your love back? Start making deposits to this love bank account, and stop making withdrawals from it. Simply put, you have to start loving your spouse again, even when love is not reciprocated. It's hard, I know, but you can do it. It will make a world of difference, and is one of the best ways to win your spouse's heart again.



Are you hurting and need to get your love back? Discover more resources and some serious help too at Anthony's website Get Your Love Back You can find some great original articles by the same author at: Marriage and Relationships